Julia, Night 2

Into the cherry trees  
blowing in the midatlantic night.
Accidental panties 
stuck out from the covers.
Didn’t know what world I was living in.

Springboks were jumping  
on that nature show.

I sat in the local crabshack  
eating clams and tried to apologize 
for enjoying spring so greatly.
Blossoms snowing hard in the wind. 

Sustainable Fine Dining

I ordered the rockfish.

The waiter said Excellent choice.

I wondered How is the bass.

I was actually considering that too.

Excellent choice.

I tried to joke

Well how about the 80-oz porterhouse?

He replied Excellent choice.

I was like What on here isn’t an excellent choice?

and shoved the menu in the air.

What about the tofu pie

the red tide oysters Rockefeller. 

Are those excellent too?

Ah, I don’t believe those are on the menu

but excellent choices, all, sir.

I said Ok, look you, stop all this pandering

and find me something here that isn’t an excellent choice.

I don’t even want anything good anymore.

Just get me something, the worst thing here,

That’s what I want.

Jesus! The duck with fig and chantarelles!

Get me the duck with fig and chanterelles!

Like nothing was happening he told me

That will not be an excellent choice.

I said Good, give me that.

Another couple came in minutes later.

The man ordered the duck with chantarelles.

Same waiter.

Excellent choice.

Cat on Dog

Stupid panting dog  
chained to the propane tanks 
freaking on the alert. The fool.

Propaganda's caught his ears—  
the evangelization of product  
of human-capital management tools  
flags at half-mast  
disapproval ratings at new highs  
stocks breaking records  
like a drunk guitarist. 
Look, he took a dump in the yard! 

Yes, yes, O pooping dog! 
Like you we strain toward tyranny then back  
to the discomfiting decline 
that passes for normalcy 
when no one is looking! 
Life is what happens  
between sniffing feces.

Which admittedly consumes 
an absurd amount of time. 

Nick McCabe

An ordinary day 
leaves extraordinary-feeling weakly 
seeking bodily escape 
but you can’t get it out 
because an ordinary day 
is just a rich man getting rich  
with data on oil usage, fat intake 
clothing style, sexual problems 
bowel movements, soup choice 
driving patterns, health failure 
insurance policy, driving metrics 
the stirrings of reptilian cortex

host organism used by 
parasite corporation dictator priest dependent shrink algorithm spy
surrender secrets and feed on freedom 
til you stumble home jetlagged  
and press Go on microwave.

New man learn new thing today.

Maybe some boring firstworld shit went off the rails--
men with time to be humanitarians arrested.  
More stirring in the theater of the senile. 
Children aimlessly correcting dementia. 
Hitler had some good ideas. 
I support the president.

The cat fought you for a fucking porkchop.  
Trash night. Work tomorrow  
if you just keep going. 
Frigid air.
This is music. 
------------------------------------------------------------

One such evening watching baseball  
til the life of Rimbaud seems absurd  
it's clear I don't inspire shootings  
and hiking Alpine blizzards  
is totally cliché.
Gun runner just rumors 
slave trader to prove 
yeah my word was the opposite  
of illuminated.  
Then die dramatically by African worm.

Do I still struggle for what he lost
because I am a fool? Or closer than he ever got?
Hello it’s me it’s me calling out. Are you there? 

Nobody’s there. 
Read a fallen angel 
there is every reason not to envy. 
------------------------------------------------

A chain reaction of suicides 
takes us past the corporate coffee grind 
interstate copier tragedy--

the latest luxuries' explicit scenes   
scoffed at as over-the-top (
Warmflash! Superminus! Positive zero!
a gold rush of nomenclature 

a misunderstanding of mortality

paranoid stylings and symbolic lies 

) like a man going through his time 

who marries a cowgirl   
who dies of his sadness

minted in a piss fountain.

I couldn't help myself be much more handsome
in the glorious ballads of supermarket cinemas
choosing canned beans after work for the devil
as I tried not to drive into the retaining wall. 

I still believe in Nick McCabe.

Myst

All-encompassing, very alert 
a shape What is it? 
in the distance 
so close I can barely feel  
the liquidlike Superbeing of light 
coming toward me like a sequoia through velvet-- 
stretched around a curve 
helplessly filled 
with comforting awe.

Orpheus went there.  
The shamen the Baptist. Joan of Arc.  
Anonymous mystics 
most of them briefly. 
Some good 
some evil in their own right 
to touch life like the rainbow 
bridging two minds.

Most are crazy. I went there. 
At least I've been there.  
Am I crazy?

Julia

A year of Saturdays  
bottled in the body 
of a scarred virgin 
mother of two 
resembles one of Leonardo’s muses:

I am jealous of the man 
who sees her the first time.
 This is one of my weaknesses— 
I want to seize what is hers. 
---------------------------------------------------

Time is short and expensive. 
Available upon request 
but reliability varies greatly. 

When They begin to charge our thoughts to us yes 
to think of her will cost a fortune:

Eyes shining like a billion fish 
caress a ruby reef 
interacting with diamonds 
and the dancing light 
that comes through clear water.

Perhaps Julia is what I seek as dying I ask 
in middle-class heaven 
it’ll never be that way again

and suck the fruit ferociously 
the cherubim have given me 
to last the unending commute to god.

Not everything can be undone.

Sand

It doesn’t feel like nothing’s changed.

We draw lines in the sand 
so there is something to wash away.

I walk the country in your eyes
but there is no union.

Intersecting lines 
no longer waiting to cross.

D**

A handsome man is a welcome sight. 
He makes me see something unusual. 
I do not question  the goodness of his intent 
yet I am subservient to his intelligence and pay.

In return I pour his gravy at Thanksgiving. 
Because his eyes say he knows 
and why should I doubt him? 
When he comes by  
I can say I know this man

and it’s nothing to him because he is Known.
His presence is felt by his absence. 
He is a fire. His smile is almost befuddled. 
How can you expect to contain fire 
unless you are fire too? 
Are you a fire? Or beautiful ice?

A handsome man is a welcome sight. 
I am going to ruin my life tonight.