and i still don’t know what i should do.
become had but been have never could i someone like myself saw i
bounce now. things like this don’t happen til they happen, it’s true.
to got we’ve ,done I had fuck the what like me at back staring
they could unlock the sky by standing on a mountain of soap suds
imagined ever who else everyone see could i halls white those up
that’s when one of those guys started turning blue on the floor and
if that sounds dramatic remember the light under your darkest door.
.eyes your of front in science the with mythology in believe to lame
everyone finally sees. it all has to end, all at once and entirely. it’s so
what saw i but .quickly blur to not clearly too—struck is man high
days grow attached like siamese twins. i was struck in the way a
and dawn the and dark the divides nothing how, afternoon the in
wrong about that; about a salted sleep that ends too often at five
something is there know i .again myself like feel i .clap to begin
time. i hear the questions my father always asks. i feel my heart
some in bathed not have i .head my in words no are there. games
see myself in there on the floor watching someone play video
can i .mistletoe the under blowjobs of brag and curls cheese down
thank me for the risk, and say i’m secretly like them as they suck
,herb the congratulate they .kept neatly and decorated neatly is but
the third floor’s first door on the right. it smells of old men’s feet
from shines that light bad of halo spoiled the in ghosts sloppy
to see you. and they are pouring from your roommate’s room;
happy are they .you know don’t they .mellowtude their and eyes
to the parties where everyone seems overly friendly with their dry
;backbone confusing building’s the up go i .things such in lieved
imitate, that i’m more than a mouth and a gut. i have always be-
i assholes the not am i that ,somehow better breathe i think to
week’s work is done and everyone knows how to breathe. i like
the when nights Friday on shit talk princesses and boys dantic
go up the stairs another flight, up dimly lit white halls where pe-
i .fear the remember i .themselves about and girls about said
when i was eleven one night in Maine. i remember the things they
car a of backseat the in breath cousin’s my on beer of smell
member many things about the past. but i could remember the
-re not could i .Romans before came Hebrews if remember not
were no words in my head. i had not bathed in some time. i could
there .pirate a like stank and landing the on rose i .end without
one is worse, the purity or the filth, remains a debate that runs
which though agents cleaning antiseptic the like less and smoke
things passing through begin to smell and smell like beer and
the and grow nights the and go days the as shadow a always is
at night. i go through the lobby of plain tile and glass which
beer sour and morning the in agents cleaning like smells that
like a pair of pants slipped over the thighs. i go up the stairway
upstairs ground the from backwards walking door the in go
i
