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Saturday, August 22, 2009

Gametime

Stop 1: The streets are on fire and the people are sweating in supermarket trolleys. Collect 45,000

Stop 2: You compare the United States to an angry mama bear. Various groups protest. Collect 500,000,000

Stop 3: You put rocket launchers in the hands of children. Millions of lives are saved. Collect NRA pass

Stop 4: Bubblegum-flavored peanut butter is a hit. Collect 700,000,000,000

Stop 5: A group of militiamen has deemed you the Archfiend of Mammon in a promotional pamphlet. Liberal media becomes infatuated. Collect 58,000,000,000

Stop 6: You avoided war but thousands of lives were lost. No one respects you.
Collect 12,000,000
Alternative: You went ballistic. Now the people want blood. Collect 12,000,000
Alternative: You thread the needle perfectly. The universe adores. Collect 17,000,000

Stop 7: Your taxes are due. Collect 75,000,000

Stop 8: Other people can’t get mad at you for your success. Collect 600,000,000

Stop 9: You find the cure for cancer causes cancer. Collect 25,000,000,000

Stop 10: You lose all equilibrium in a skiing accident at an undisclosed mountain range. Win a free talk show.

Stop 11: You are part owner of a nanny torture ring. Government post denied. Collect 45,000,000,000

Stop 12: The AFL-CIO has tapped your phones. Spin again.

Stop 13: 42% of Americans support your new slogan, ME=MC2. Collect 90,000,000

Stop 14: You find a bag of coins under a python. Time magazine calls you Human of the Year. Collect 6,000,000,000

Stop 15: Your BMW is implicated in a sex scandal. Collect 41,000,000

Stop 16: Kate Moss, Vishnu, and an octopus approach you about a time share in St. Martin. You become Viagra pitchman for a fiscal year.

Stop 17: Your sixth wife wants all your money. Collect 10,000,000

Stop 18: It’s time to get back to basics. You create an affordable electric hybrid that everyone wants. Collect 4,000,000

Stop 19: You become an outsized celebrity ice sculptor with a methadone problem and a stable full of wild bears. Collect 1,000,000,000

Stop 20: Effigies of you are burning in the streets. Immediate image makeover is a success. Collect 47,000,000

Stop 21: You enter rehab. Collect 20,000

Stop 22: Signs in the street read Capitalism sux. You don’t explain It isn’t capitalism anymore.

Stop 23: Atlantis rises. New markets form. Pick a car and circle the board

how many times, no one knows.

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